Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.
Everyone around you is full of love for their children. They are content having their children around them all the time. You hardly hear them complain about their precious babies. While you on the other hand feel overwhelmed and burdened by your children a majority of the time. You are ashamed, feel alone and have no idea when or why motherhood has become a burden.
When Motherhood Has Become A Burden
We are told that, “children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him,” in Psalm 127:3. Sadly though there are many mothers who do not feel this way. Usually the cause of this is not lack of love for their children, but simply being depressed. Whether it is postpartum depression or general depression, it is a challenging thing to deal with as a mother.
Children are not meant to be a burden to anyone. There are many references in the Bible explaining what an amazing gift and blessing they are. Sometimes when you feel as if they are a burden to you then you may need to look at yourself.
You Play A Role In Your Negative Feelings
What are feeling inside in regard to your current season of life? Maybe you have a husband who is always working and you are sitting at home with young children all day. Then it can certainly become frustrating being Mom.
There are simple ways to fix this though. If you give your children activities and things to occupy their minds then they are less likely to fight and throw fits. This in turn relives a lot of the stress you are feeling right now.
Perhaps you enjoy time with friends. Now that you either work and then have kids at night or kids all day and night, time with friends is limited or non-existent. When I found myself in this situation it was nice to have friends who could come to my house. The kids go to bed by 8 P.M. and I could have my friends come and see me after that.
I know that you miss having time where you could go out and enjoy yourself without being worried about your children at home, but if you have good friends then they will understand. Hopefully they can even accommodate your situation until your children are older. Even a simple phone call can sometimes alleviate these feelings of isolation.
An issue many stay at home moms face is simple lack of adult communication. We are with only children all day and don’t have any conversation outside of silly talk with our children. For someone who thrives on relationships with other people this can certainly become stressful and cause you to go into a depression.
Do Not Let It Spiral Into Depression
As I said earlier, most of the issues you are facing start out as frustrations or concerns, but over time they lead to depression. That is when you will begin feeling as if your children are hindering you in some way instead of enriching your life.
None of these feelings will get better if you do not seek out help or find ways to alleviate these feelings. God did not give us these children to end the life we once knew. He did not bless us with our babies for us to feel isolated, overwhelmed and depressed. Our Father knows what we can handle in this life and he does everything for our good.
Some Ways To Put An End To These Feelings:
- First and foremost, pray. If you are feeling as if having a child has done nothing, but cause you heartache and negative feelings then you need to be getting into a deeper relationship with your Father as soon as possible.
- Look at yourself. Is there something you could be doing differently each day to cause your stress level to decrease? Get on a better routine, eat healthier, spend time with God, or even thirty minutes of exercise during nap time can improve mood.
- Give your children activities throughout the day to keep them busy. Not tv and electronics, but let them go outside, color pictures, read books, listen to music and dance. If your children are occupied with mind enriching activities then they are less likely to be moody, which will cause less chaos for you.
- Put your phone down. When I have days that I am on my phone more than usual I find my toddler misbehaves WAY more and is extremely fussy. I typically do not spend a lot of time on my phone until the evening after dinner and he is used to that so when he doesn’t have as much time with me it is upsetting to him. If you notice your children misbehaving a lot and nothing seems to be working then put your phone away for a few hours. Your children need you, they need your attention and they crave interaction with you. You will not die without your phone, I promise.
- Set aside time each month for a friend, whether it is a nice hour-long phone call or an actual visit. Make sure you set aside time at least once a month for YOU to have time with another female adult. Do not make excuses for why this is impossible. It isn’t impossible for someone to drive to your house for an hour one evening or for your husband to watch the kids for a bit so you can go visit a friend.
I know that motherhood is hard and it can feel so overwhelming sometimes, but do not let these feeling spiral out of control and lead to resentment. Take the steps now to prevent this escalating any further. Your children love you so much and need you more than anyone else. God can help you through any demanding situation you may be in and just laying your cares at his feet can be such a relief.
What are some struggles you have had with motherhood becoming too overwhelming and how did you battle those?